It was another calm day on the Grand Line as the Thousand Sunny floated upon the waves. The Straw Hats were doing their usual chores while Nami and Chopper were reading the paper. Nami was reading the stock pages while Chopper studied the medical journal. And took breaks with the comics section.
He flipped the comics section over and a set of papers fell out.
“Huh?” Chopper said curiously, as he picked up the set of papers.
“Oh, that must be the wanted posters,” Nami said.
Chopper began to flip through them.
“Hmm. Four hundred million for ‘Straw Hat Luffy’,” Chopper chuckled. “That’s our captain; making a million beri leap in two years!”
He flipped to the next one.
“Here’s another: seventy seven million beris for ‘Black Leg’ Sanji,” Chopper chuckled again. They hadn’t changed the picture in two years.
“Another one!” Chopper said as he chomped on the hard candies he was snacking on. “Fifty beris for-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH?!?!”
He was staring at his own wanted poster.
* * * *
At lunchtime, Chopper was still complaining about the injustice the World Government had done to him. He didn’t even want to eat his dessert.
“It’s still fifty beris for me?!” he shouted. “That’s an insult! They can’t get away with this!”
“I’m pretty sure they can,” Nami sweated a little.
“I’m as dangerous as Luffy and Sanji! I beat Kumadori! That was no monster and I’m no pet! That was me!”
“And we all know it, Chopper,” Luffy smiled. “Isn’t that all that matters?”
“It’s discrimination!” he shouted. “I’m going to Marineford and complaining right to the Fleet Admiral!”
“Are you crazy?!” Usopp shouted. “They’ll arrest us the instant we enter the harbor!”
“Then I’ll go it alone!” the reindeer said courageously, standing on his chair.
That was when everyone burst out laughing.
“Oh, sure!” Sanji laughed. “You’d get caught before you reached the Fleet Admiral!”
“It would be quite the heartbreaking execution,” Robin thought morbidly.
“We all appreciate you gusto, Master Chopper,” Brook said as he sipped his tea. “But you cannot do something so foolish just because of a small bounty.”
“I may be a criminal, but I still have my rights!” he said. “I can complain to the World Government as much as any free person! I’ll head out this afternoon even!”
With that, Chopper leapt off of the chair and ran out of the dining room.
“Uh, shouldn’t we stop him?” Franky asked.
“Ah, don’t worry,” Zoro smirked. “He won’t that far.”
* * * *
A couple of minutes later, Chopper had flagged down a News Coo that was heading back from its deliveries.
It looked at him like he had lobsters coming out of his ears.
“Look, I want you to help mail me to Marineford,” Chopper repeated.
The News Coo sighed and asked him something.
“My weight?” Chopper “Uh, six and seven eighths pounds.”
The News Coo nodded and told Chopper that he would have to pay five hundred beris for postage. The News Coo then took out a stamp and was about to lick it. Chopper shouted and snatched it out of his wing.
“Just a minute, buddy!” he shouted. “That’s unsanitary! This is going on me, you know!”
He then reached into the News Coo’s bag and pulled out a paste pot.
“Here,” he said as he applied some glue to the stamp. He then put it on under his arm. “We’ll paste it on here where it doesn’t show.”
He then lifted his arm to the News Coo.
“Ok, cancel me!”
The News Coo then marked the stamp and he was off to Marineford.
* * * *
The next day, Chopper was marching up the steps of the fortress of justice. Marines looked at him oddly, but they did not stop him. As he trudged up the steps, he was muttering about the bounties again.
“Seventy seven million for a pervert like Sanji,” he growled. “Four hundred million for an idiot like Luffy!”
Soon, he was standing before the sliding door of Fleet Admiral Sengoku.
“This is the guy I wanna see,” he growled as he reached for the door. “I’ll give him something to think about!”
That was when he stopped.
“Uh, wait a minute…” he muttered to himself. “Maybe that’s the wrong approach…”
He thought for a minute.
“Maybe I should be smooth; use finesse,” he said to himself. “That’s it! I’ll be nonchalant.”
He then slid the door open and found Sengoku talking on his Transponder Snail. Chopper then, nonchalantly walked up to Sengoku’s desk as he hung up the transponder snail receiver. He hummed a little bit of Bink’s Sake nonchalantly. He was going to use the ultimate finesse to speak to this powerful man.
Unfortunately, he learned finesse from Luffy.
Chopper leapt up onto the desk and grabbed the Fleet Admiral by his shirt.
“WHAT’S THE IDEA WITH MY BOUNTY BEING ONLY FIFTY BERIS?!” He yelled straight into his face.
“STOP STEAMING UP MY GLASSES!” Sengoku roared back, causing to send the reindeer toppling off the desk.
Chopper than stood up and confronted Sengoku.
“Never mind that,” he said. “How come my bounty is only fifty beris compared to all the others? Huh?!”
“Well, the other Straw Hats are destructive, harmful, and obnoxious to people,” Sengoku told Chopper. “They do damage!”
“And what about me?” Chopper asked.
“You are a sweet, furry, innocent creature,” he said. “You wouldn’t harm a hair on anyone’s head.”
Oh really? Chopper thought, chuckling on the inside. He doesn’t know me very well, does he?
“You are perfectly harmless,” Sengoku continued, making his point clear by stamping his finger on the desk. “And the bounty stands at 50 beris!”
Chopper, angered snatched up the brush resting on his desk and splattered ink across his face.
“Oh, yeah?!” he shouted. “Well, I’ll prove to you that I can be as dangerous and obnoxious as any Straw Hat Luffy or Black Leg Sanji!”
He then jabbed the brush into the desk, bending it.
“You can’t get away with this!” he said as he walked towards the door. “You’ll be hearing from me!”
He then slammed the door, breaking it off its hinges.
* * * *
On his way out, Chopper passed by a Marine guard standing at the entrance of the Marineford tower. Chopper looked him up and down and then took the Marine’s billy club from its holster. He then grabbed the Marine’s pant leg, lifted it up and repeatedly smacked the guard on his shin. The guard howled in pain and held his shin as he hopped around on one foot.
Chopper stood proudly and raised a finger to the sky.
“Tony Tony Chopper was here!” he said proudly.
Later on, in the Marineford town, Chopper found a bench labeled as “‘Akainu’ Sakazuki’s Personal Bench”. He took out a pen, scratched out Akainu’s name. He then wrote “Tony Tony Chopper’s Personal Bench”.
He then climbed to the top of the Marineford tower and repainted the kanji for “Marines” (Kaigun) to say “Stupid-ines” (Baka-igun). He signed his graffiti with the phrase “Tony Tony Chopper was here!”
* * * *
Later that night, at Saboady Park, all the lights were on, creating a dazzling display for the park goers. Just then, the lights went out.
Chopper had subdued the technicians in the main breaker room and shut off the main power. He then rearranged the wires and the buttons and then switched the lights back on.
The lights shone to life, only this time, they spelled “TONY TONY CHOPPER WUZ HERE!”
* * * *
A week later, Chopper was standing on the slopes of Reverse Mountain, watching the sea water flow up the steep incline. Next to him was a big switch that was on the off position. Chopper reached over and turned the switch to off.
The water rushing up the mountain suddenly shut off on the mountain, as if it were a shower. All along the canals were wrecked ships, pirates and Marines alike.
The headlines read “ ‘COTTON CANDY LOVER’ CHOPPER SHUTS OFF REVERSE MOUNTAIN”.
* * * *
Luffy and Nami looked at the headlines.
“Looks like Chopper is really causing a stir,” Nami said.
“Wonder how far he’s gonna take this,” Luffy thought.
* * * *
The next day, the headlines read “ ‘COTTON CANDY LOVER’ CHOPPER GIVES JAYA BACK TO THE SHANDIANS”.
Sure enough, Jaya, and the adjoining Mocktown, had been completely refurnished. All the buildings and the ships had been redone in the style of the Shandian culture and architecture. Every person living in Mocktown at the time were forced out of their homes and had to find a new place to live.
Chopper walked through the streets of Mocktown like a king, Shandian headdress adorning his hat and chomping on delicious Shandian candies.
And to think, Chopper thought. They wouldn’t take it until I threw in a set of dishes!
* * * *
In Alubarna, Vivi and Carue looked at the paper by her father’s bedside.
“What on Earth is Tony-kun doing?” she thought to herself.
Carue made a questioning quack.
“Maybe it has something to do with the stress of the New World…” Cobra mused.
* * * *
A few days later, Chopper was sawing up and down into the ground like a maniac in his Heavy Point. He needed all his strength to saw through the earth. Soon, he was at the edge of the island. He took the saw out of the ground and stood proud.
“There! That does it!” he said.
The headlines of tomorrow would read: “ ‘COTTON CANDY LOVER’ CHOPPER SAWS PUNK HAZARD IN HALF”.
Chopper kicked off on the lava side of Punk Hazard, sending it floating down the ocean.
“Dressrosa; take it away!” he shouted happily.
Standing on his more preferred climate, Chopper began to think.
“I’m harmless, huh? Now…what other deviltry can I do?”
That was when his face lit up and he had an idea.
* * * *
The next day, Chopper was in Mariejois.
The headlines for that day read: “COTTON CANDY LOVER SWIPES COLLARS OFF CELESTIAL DRAGON SERVANTS”.
Chopper danced gleefully, surrounded by explosive collars and confused slaves. He had two of the rings in his hands as he danced and flailed his arms around.
“I got ‘em! I got ‘em! I got ‘em!” he cheered.
It took delicate hands to unhook those collars. The delicate hands of a surgeon. Even then, he was afraid he wouldn’t make it. He was overjoyed that he got them off.
* * * *
All of Ryugu Kingdom cheered at the reindeer’s latest exploit. Like Fisher Tiger before him, Chopper had freed every slave regardless of race. Of course, a few of the prisoners thought he was just taking a great man’s accomplishment and copying it shamelessly.
Hachi, Camie, Pappug, and Den were looking at the paper in shock.
“Nyuuu…can’t believe it,” Hachi moaned.
“Why would Chopper-chin be doing these sort of things all on his lonesome?” Camie asked.
“If you want to be recognized as a great man, you need to do it with a Don!” Den answered her.
The royal court was also astonished.
“Isn’t that one of the Straw Hats?” Fukaboshi said.
“It most definitely is!” Neptune said in shock.
“I hope Luffy-sama has agreed to this,” Shirahoshi said softly.
* * * *
Even later in the day, Chopper was in Enies Lobby, furiously shoveling dirt into the hole beneath the island.
“ENIES LOBBY FILLED UP” was the headline the next day.
Chopper patted down the earth that made Enies Lobby look like a normal island. He wiped his brow and looked over his handiwork.
“Well, that fills up that hole!”
While this action seemed harmless, the land mass that now developed plugged up the hole that helped to create the strong current around the island, making it more accessible; to the public and the pirates.
The truth of Enies Lobby’s miscarriages of justice would be brought to the light sure enough.
* * * *
The snow fell softly on the Sakura Kingdom.
Kureha and Dalton looked over the newspaper listing Chopper’s latest exploits.
“My foolish son, what on Earth are you doing?” Kureha thought.
* * * *
A couple of days later, Chopper was cranking away at a length of pink ribbon.
The headlines that day read “COTTON CANDY LOVER TIES UP SEA TRAIN TRACKS”.
Sure enough, all of the sea trains and the tracks they rode on were bound and tied up with a giant pink bow. Chopper’s calling card.
With these assaults of vandalism against the military, the public, and the monarchy, something was bound to happen.
* * * *
A week later in Mariejois, the headlines read “REVERIE DEMANDS ACTION”.
The emergency conference was held by a Celestial Dragon at the moment. Chopper’s actions had raised the ire of the descendants of the founders of the World Government. The most grievous, of course, was freeing all the servants in Mariejois.
The Celestial Dragon that was currently on a tirade was Saint Charloss, a man who obviously had a grudge against the Straw Hats.
“I demand that the price on Tony Tony Chopper’s head be raised!” he roared, banging the table. “We must slay this reindeer before he takes the entire world for a ride!”
Suddenly, Chopper leapt out from under the table and landed in front of Charloss.
“Slay! Ride!” he shouted in his face. “Sleigh ride! That’s a joke! You missed it!”
Chopper laughed boisterously as he slapped Charloss on the back like he was one of his best friends.
“Ha ha! Admit it!” Chopper shouted as he shoved him. “I’m too fast for you!”
He then wrapped his arms around Charloss’ head and kissed him right on the forehead. He then quickly ran out of the Reverie, the final blow being dealt.
* * * *
The order went out across the Transponder Snails; Capture Cotton Candy Lover Chopper.
The entire Navy was mobilized, including the artillery needed to supply the Buster Call, the Admirals armed themselves, and the Seven Warlords were convened.
The headlines read “NAVY GOES AFTER COTTON CANDY LOVER”.
* * * *
On a barren island in the New World, Chopper was walking around looking for something else to do to catch the World Government’s eye.
Just then, she found a message board with a single wanted poster on it.
It was his own poster and on it the bounty was…
“A HUNDRED BILLION BERIS?!!” he shouted. “Now that’s more like it!”
Chopper stood proud at the prospect of his new bounty.
“Tony Tony Chopper; King of the Beasts!” he let out a yell of bravery as he beat his chest.
Just then, he heard a loud rumbling behind him. He turned around and saw an entire fleet of Navy ships docking onto the island’s shore. The Marines rushed out and charged at Chopper. They fired on him and the reindeer doctor laid down on the ground, dodging the bullets.
Then the Warlords charged in.
Dracule Mihawk slashed at Chopper, but Chopper was able to survive thanks to his Guard Point. The same happened with Donquixote Doflamingo trying to slash him. He was only barely to survive Kuma’s Pad Cannon attack as well.
That was when Boa Hancock leapt up.
“Mero Mero Mellow!”
A pink ray beam of hearts flew from her heart-formed hands and washed over Chopper’s furred body.
And nothing happened.
“Uh…what was that for?” Chopper asked.
“You…don’t feel anything for me?” Boa Hancock asked.
“Uh, no I don’t,” Chopper said. “I don’t like human girls.”
Boa Hancock fell to the ground in shock and horror.
“H-how can this be?!” Hancock screamed. “Only Luffy can resist my beauty!”
That was when the Admirals took over.
Fujitora threw pieces of the island down on Chopper as he ran, terrified. Kizaru fired beams of light at him as well.
Then, the Fleet Admiral got involved. He fired magma fists into the air and they came falling down onto the island. They left deep craters in the island.
Chopper ducked into a crater like it was a foxhole just as the battleships fired their cannons, the shells forming a ring around the crater.
“Eh…” Chopper said as he stuck his head out. “Could it be that I took this too far?”
The shells exploded all around him.
* * * *
In Impel Down, a new inmate was admitted. The reindeer that had singlehandedly, in less than a month, broke every law that the World Government’s ideal of justice could uphold, was placed in the infamous Level 6.
The crimes he had done were so numerous and unexpected, he had to be locked away from the world.
Chopper sat there in his cell, wondering if he took it to far.
“Eh, could be!” he answered himself.
* * * *
The rest of the Straw Hats looked at the newspaper, whose headline read “REBEL REINDEER IMPRISONED IN IMPEL DOWN”.
“Unbelievable!” Sanji said.
“SUPER crazy!” Franky shouted.
“Oh, poor Chopper!” Usopp howled.
“Looks like I was right; it’s going to be a heartbreaking execution…” Robin mused.
“Must you be so morbid, Robin-san?” Brook asked, not feeling like laughing.
“He has to take responsibility for his actions,” Zoro nodded.
Luffy looked over at Nami.
“We’re going to save him, right?” Luffy asked his navigator.
“Oh, definitely,” Nami agreed. “But…let’s let him stew for about a week. You know, let him learn his lesson.”